You're Gonna Have To Ask
by Gabumon Noodles
Summary: Riza is tired of sacrificing for Roy. This one time, he'll have to fight to win her over. Based on the song Buried Myself Alive by the Used.


**Rated M to be safe. Implied sex, drug use, some language...yeah. Letters in bold are lyrics, and italics are a flashback.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA's central plot, characters or setting. Nor do I own lyrics to the song "Buried Myself Alive" by the Used.**

You're Gonna Have To Ask

The cold, hard tip of Riza's boot prodded Roy's side.

"Colonel, it's eight in the morning. Please wake up, sir."

She received no response from the drugged out man. She tried not to look at the half-naked woman wrapped in his arm.

"Sir, you need to go to work today."

Roy shook his head sleepily and replied in a slurring moan. "No...jus' five more minutes with...with my girl..."

It came suddenly and viciously.

Riza's boot swung and dug into Roy's gut. "Get up. Now." she snarled.

**You almost always pick the best time**

**to drop the worst lines**

**You almost made me cry again this time**

**Another false alarm, red flashing lights**

**Well this time, I'm not going to watch myself die**

The kick completely turned him over until he sprawled on his stomach. Roy's eyes were a blur of squinting and blinking.

"The hell was that for? Persistent bitch..."

He slowly sat up and rubbed at his eyes. His whole world seemed to sway and turn before him. Bile rose in his throat as his stomach curdled. He slowly became aware of his surroundings: A big, empty room. Discarded wine bottles. Overturned chairs. Then an awful realization trickled in like cold water down his spine. A chick sprawled next to him with a barely concealing top. Something about going to work. And a seriously pissed off Lieutenant, whom he had just called a bitch.

"Hawkeye, I'm so sorry." he choked. "I can explain-"

"You can do that when you get in the car with me, sir." she coldly snapped back.

"Roy, what's going on?" the woman pushed away the tousled hair away from her groggy face. "You leaving so soon?"

Roy barely had time to straighten his shirt when Riza roughly pulled him to his feet. He nearly pitched forward to throw up. Riza's fist was an iron clamp around his arm as she dragged him out of the bar. She left without as much as a sidelong glance to the dazed woman on the floor.

Riza shoved Roy into the passenger's seat, and buckled the belt for him when he was too dazed to move. The car's ignition sputtered to life and Riza's foot drove into the accelerator. It took several painful and nauseated minutes for Roy to come to his senses. The cold breeze of the car's air conditioner restored most of his alertness.

He looked across to Riza. She kept her eyes on the road. Her body language suggested passiveness and neutrality, save for the rigid tightening of her clamped jaw.

"Lieutenant?" Roy rasped. She did not twitch a muscle.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye?" he raised his voice up a notch. Still no answer. Like she was deliberately ignoring him.

**I think I made it a game to play your game**

**And let myself cry**

**I buried myself alive on the inside**

**So I could shut you out**

**And let you go away for a long time...GET OUT!**

The car stopped at a red traffic light. Roy opened his mouth to speak when she finally looked his way. A stone held more warmth than the flat, cold stare she threw it at him.

"There's no need to explain yourself, sir. I'm not stupid."

"I-I wasn't going to-"

"Do you care to at least explain your reason behind what I already know?"

"What do you mean, Lieutenant?"

She sighed, and replied as if she had to elaborate for a five year old. "You being at a bar all night. Getting drunk senseless with excessive alcohol. And a nearly stripped woman you had slept with. Explain that."

Roy tried to think, but his brain pulsed and throbbed painfully. He brought a hand to his temple and rubbed at it wearily. In truth, he was at a lost for words. He couldn't find a good reason for the stupid things he had done.

Riza turned back to the windshield. "Just forget it. Men and their primitive drive for sex isn't terribly hard to figure out."

Memories of last night began flitting back to Roy's mind. He saw himself under the spell of liquor and alcohol. The woman...he couldn't remember whether she was called Vicky, Vanessa or something...All he could remember was her front in his face, her arms clinging to him as they plummeted to the floor together.

Everything else that surfaced to his memory brought a guilty blush to his face. He thanked God that Riza didn't ask him for every detail of that night. She didn't have to; like she had said, she had it all figured out.

"I suppose you'd like to know what I did while you enjoyed yourself last night." she said.

The light lit green. Riza hit the pedal.

"If you failed to remember, you were supposed to attend an important meeting. Every general and senior officer met in the conference. Everyone but you. I rushed to your office, but you weren't there. I tried to call you by the military line, and the phone booth. Ten minutes after the start of the meeting, I had to go up there and make up an excuse for your absence."

**I guess it's okay I puked the day away**

**I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way**

**And if you want me back**

**You're gonna have to ask**

_Hakuro, Grumman, Douglas and Raven. They were all there. And every officer turned to look as Riza entered the conference room. They eyed her expectantly, then with curious disappointment when her superior wasn't next to her. Douglas cocked an eyebrow. "Oh? Where is the Flame Alchemist, Lieutenant?"_

_Riza slowly met their eyes, then lowered them to her boots again. She was out of breath from dashing to the office, and strands of hair fell askew from the clip._

_"It's been ten minutes, almost eleven." Hakuro said. "I thought he would show up to impress us higher-ups with his aspirations for the country. I guess not."_

_Riza opened her mouth to say something, then closed it silently. She felt like a hostess embarassed in front of her guests by the wretchedness of her home. Or like a teacher who had to excuse the behavior of a troublesome kid. Heat burned her cheeks and the palms of her hands sweated._

_Grumman stared at his granddaughter with a softer light than the rest of the officers. "Lieutenant Hawkeye, where is Colonel Mustang? Why is he so late?"_

_Riza licked her lips and felt her throat clench. She swallowed, and replied, "I-I don't know, sir. He wasn't in the office. Please forgive me for this inconvenience."_

_General Raven huffed a sigh and leafed through some papers. "Very well. We might have to proceed without him. We'd still like to know where he disappeared though."_

_"Please find him, Lieutenant." Grumman said gently. "It's very important that you do. There's risk of his reputation getting soiled if he doesn't attend this meeting."_

_Riza briskly saluted and walked out as quickly as she could. Disappearing on such an important event such as this...she had a good feeling where he might be._

"After that, I searched every bar and pub of Central." Riza said. "I asked Madame Christmas, but she had no idea. I finally came to the bar you stayed in. A civilian who saw you had told me you stayed there. But it was late nightfall, and its doors were locked. I stood next to the car so that you might see me."

Hot tears bordered the corners of her eyes. "I waited you. I _fucking waited_ for you. It rained all last night. I stood outside the car, hoping you would show up. I got soaked to the bone. My teeth chattered till it hurt."

"I'm sorry, Lieutenant." And he meant every word of it. He felt every inch of a jerk that he deserved to be.

She continued as if she didn't hear him. "I tried to peer inside, but all I saw were chairs and beer bottles thrown around. I heard screaming, shouting and cursing. I couldn't see much through the blinds, let alone you. I stood out there, helpless and anxious, praying that you didn't get involved in some bar fight."

Roy listened to this, and something tugged at the back of his eyes. She had been worried sick, to the point of almost catching pneumonia in the rain. She had went out her way to wait for him dutifully, while he messed around with some drunk whore. "Lieutenant, I'm so very sorry..."

Roy flew forward as the car lurched to a sudden stop. Riza turned on him with tears freely flowing down her face. "I can't take it anymore! I'm sick of your empty words, all your pathetic excuses. As a woman, I'm surprised I can still function after the things you've done. Having to cover up for you in front of the generals, in front of my own grandfather...I've never felt so embarassed in my life."

She unbuckled her seatbelt and threw open the door.

"Lieutenant, please...wait-"

"Find your own way to headquarters for once. How can I face my grandfather and explain what you did last night? I'm going home."

"Riza, I beg you-"

"Go fuck yourself."

Riza punctuated the last sentence with a slam to the door. She left him in the dust, and walked home without looking back. She used the back of her hand to wipe away the wet streaks down her cheeks. As a soldier and a woman, she felt doubly betrayed. She thought she heard a voice calling her back. She only gritted her teeth, and trudged on.

**I think the chain broke away and I felt at the day**

**that I had my own time**

**I took advantage of myself and felt fine**

**but it was worth the night**

**I caught an early flight and I made it home**

Black Hayate sprang forward to greet his master as soon as she came through the door. When she didn't smile and reached down to return her affection, Hayate's ears and tail drooped. He seemed to pick up her somber mood, and he brushed his head against her leg comfortingly.

"Look at me, Hayate. I'm such an emotional wreck." she sighed. Riza sank into a couch and put a hand to her eyes. Her hair was disheveled, damp and spiky from last night's rain. She pulled off her wet military coat and cast it to the side.

For the first time in her life, she felt ashamed of being Roy's subordinate. Not only his subordinate, but his personal bodyguard and most trusted colleague. Riza doubted whether those titles were appropiate. She was more of a babysitter, and a coach for him. More than often, she was given the lion's share of paperwork that ought to be filled out by the Colonel. Whenever he complained, she gave a lecture. Whenever he procastinated, she went out her way to do the work for him. Whenever he drank, she had to rein him in before he did anything stupid.

On the battlefield, she was his lamb.

It was her duty, not so much of a choice, to throw herself in the face of sacrifice and slaughter. Even if it wasn't her obligation, she protected him with unparalleled devotion. Perhaps it was something much more than that.

Riza shook her head vigorously. How could she think that, when she should be seething over Roy's utter stupidity and idiocy? And as much as she tried, she just couldn't. She could never stay angry at her Colonel for long.

Riza then wondered about his current situation at headquarters. If he had made it there at all. Would the generals demote him? Would they strip him of his faithful subordinates, just as Fuhrer Bradley had done months ago?

She pictured Roy's reaction, and her heart swelled with pity. The news would break him. He would be lost and alone, with no one to protect, guide or encourage him. Without that, he would lose his dream. He would give up on the military, and probably sell his soul for booze and girls. The vision of a depressed, lifeless Roy was too much for her.

**I guess it's okay I puked the day away**

**I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way**

**and if you want me back**

**You're gonna have to ask**

**Nicer than that**

Riza thought of Roy's end of the stick. She realized that he too had his own burdens to carry. As a high-ranking Colonel, he was expected to lead and care for his men. The expectations of his friends weighed down on his shoulders when he had informed them of his dream to become Fuhrer. And in battle, Roy was more than willing to put his life on the line to make sure his colleagues survived.

She concluded that he would not face shame alone. She refused to let that happen, not when he still had a dream, and felt sincerely sorry for the mistake he made. But he still owed her an apology.

Riza slipped her military jacket back on. She rose, left her apartment, and retraced her route back to the car. When she got to the spot, she was startled to see that it was gone. Maybe he really did go to the command center. She picked up the pace and speedwalked on the way. At the parking lot, she caught sight of him emerging from the car. His face was a picture of silent pain when he quietly shut the door. His frown was as dejected as his slumped shoulders. Riza broke into a run as she rushed to meet him. He looked up, and a startled light lit in his otherwise dull eyes. Then he took a step backward in apprehension. She stopped just a few feet away from him. They stood there and studied each other in wary silence.

Roy shuffled nervously, and he opened his mouth to speak. "Don't come with me. I've put you through more than enough embarassment." He sounded just as tired as she was back home. "It's my meeting. I should go up there and apologize."

"There's one more thing." Riza said quietly. "Never in my years of service with you have I desired anything. But I'm asking you now-"

"If you want my apology, I'd be more than happy to give it to you." he murmured. "No, a thousand of my most sincere pleas for forgiveness can't atone for what I had done last night. You'd think they would just be...empty words." His voice slipped, and cracked as his throat choked up with emotion. "I'm not even worthy to stand in front of you and redeem myself. I care so much about you, Lieutenant. It nearly killed me...when I had realized that my betrayal and deception had hurt you. I'm so sorry, Lieutenant. I'm sorry. I'm so-" He couldn't go on anymore. He turned his face away and his shoulders shook. Riza looked down to blink away her own tears. She had him ensnared at her mercy. But no matter how much her stoic and unmoving heart resisted, his painfully earnest words melted it.

**With my foot on your neck**

**I finally have you**

**Right where I want you**

"You don't need to say anymore, sir. I believe you." Riza murmured. He did not look at her. A hand over his eyes and the other gripping the door's handle, Roy was a picture of pity and sympathy.

"Sir. Please get it together, sir. The generals are waiting for us. Let's move." She meant it with far less rage this time. She moved forward and clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"Sir, I forgive you. I know you won't do it again. I stake my life on that."

Roy hastily dashed a sleeve across his face. He smiled weakly back at her.

"You still want to follow me?"

"Every step of the way, sir. Whatever is in store for us, we'll bear it together."

**I guess it's okay I puked the day away**

**I guess it's better you trapped yourself in your own way**

**And if you want me back**

**You're gonna have to ask**

Colonel Mustang and Lieutenant Hawkeye's footsteps synced as they climbed the stairs.

"Lieutenant?"

"Sir?"

"I'll never touch a bottle of beer, nor taste a drop of alcohol in my life."

"That's a very bold, and risky promise. What makes you think that you'll keep to it, sir?"

"I'll think of you, and everything you've done for me. That's all I need."

**I hope it wasn't too hard to read...I use profanity in stories to express strong emotions, not to just throw it out there for the heck of it. xD**

**The Used is one of the best modern rock bands I've ever listened to. Their musical shiz is the bomb.**


End file.
